To be or not to be? That is the question...

For many people going to University presents an opportunity for change, an opportunity to be whoever you want to be, or an opportunity to remain the same. You can fix the aspects of your lives you didn't enjoy during high school. You will be exposed to unprecedented freedom. You can more freely choose who you spend your time with. You can choose to drink or to remain sober. You can choose to party or you can choose to study. You can choose to find long lasting love or you can choose to find that one night stand. You can choose to do well or you can choose to fail miserably. You can choose to smoke that joint or you can choose to have your brain function at its optimal speed. You can choose to make friends of different races, religions and creeds or you can stick to your comfort zones, stick with your own, and remain in your bubble. You can choose to try new things you never thought you'd have the opportunity to experience or you can shy away from the adventurous and stick to the familiar norms. You can do whatever you want to do, that is the beauty of CHOICE. Some choices have life-long consequences, others do not. Some will make you happy beyond your wildest dreams; others will bring heavy rain and clouds to your usually pleasant surroundings. At the end of the day you go into University as a blank canvass. You have the potential to come out as either a masterpiece or a series of disorganised scribbles. So I say take this experience and make the most of it. I have just one piece of advice for you: Remain true to yourself. At the end of the day the most important thing is to be able to look into a mirror and to recognise and like the person you see. Don't fall into the trap of trying to meet other people's expectations and standards, rather meet your own. In the spirit of this advice here is a poem I wrote in 2006:



Pretender

Pretence is the only thing that you know,
the flawed system in control of your soul.
Mean not what you say but say what you mean,
live in reality not in false dreams.
But your words are meaningless illusions of hope,
a method designed to allow you to cope.
See the shadows my eyes know so well,
melt in the reality of this living hell.
You choose to accept what you do not know,
belief in lunacy because "they" told you so.
Who is this "they" you refer to so often?
"They" could be me or people in coffins.
Yet you are no better than those false people,
you sit down, shut up, accepting their evil.
You expect the support of those you call friends,
yet for those who betray...your mind still bends.
Blind to reality, deaf to their lies,
yet I mention these things and you seem surprised.
Surprise is for people who are not aware,
sympathy for people who previously cared.
Previously means I felt in the past,
emotions are meaningless and only momentarily last.
But this is the end so dry all your tears,
succumb to the darkness, realize all your fears.
The fears that leave you trapped in a cage,
the cage by people rattled in rage,
a rage I dare not write on this page,
this page that will last though doomed by age.
This doom I welcome and death I accept,
for I do not judge, I do not expect.
Expect from people unreasonable things,
gifts of love, such as diamond rings.
Love is untouchable, its pain is terrible,
at the best of times, simply unbareable.
If love is a mountain I dare not climb,
if true love is possible I dare not rhyme.
If love is a touch I dare not feel,
in a wise man's eyes love is surreal.
Who am i you ask? I'm nothing but real,
have a heart of gold and nerves of steel.
For all those who dare call me naive,
who stupidly think their lies I believe.
Think again you will find you are wrong,
I patiently wait in this line so long.
To tell you I'm ready, ready to fight,
I bring light to day and darkness to night.
But I am not the topic of choice,
no more than a reason, merely a voice.
So think what you want and do what you will,
your life has no purpose, blood waiting to spill.
So with these last few lines I say no more,
theres no one to listen or to write for.
You mean nothing to me as I do to you,
saying goodbye is nothing new.
So goodbye I say and this is my word,
my feelings you know, my thoughts you have heard.
Some people say that you reap what you sew,
yet pretense is the only thing that you know.
I mean what I say and say what I mean,
I refuse to live in this false dream.

(Picture is from the television series The Pretender)